Pikachu is not a goddamn mouse, and i don't care what the games tell me. It's some kind of small bear or marsupial perhaps, possibly a raccoon of some type, but it is Extremely Not a Mouse

The crux of my argument hinges on Raticate, who has nearly the same body shape of Pikachu, but actually has distinctive traits of rodents that Pikachu lacks entirely.

*me, manic, frenzy-eyed*

True though that may be, that is NOT what is being litigated here!

*I slam my desk and knock over a coffee mug, which shatters in a metaphor for my mental state. This legal case has taken its toll on me.*

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