i love that shark sightings are still, like, newsworthy.

SHARKS SIGHTED OFF THE COAST OF CAPE CODE well where the fuck did you expect them to be? The mall of America? Vacationing abroad?

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just once i want a shark sighting headline to read like

SHARK SIGHTED OFF THE COAST OF MALIBU

She was a very good and hefty girl. She ate some fish and did good swims. Lets all say thank you to this most important cornerstone predator of the deep and tell her she is a good girl.

@popstar last thing i did before my phone died was boost this post

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