This can of deviled ham tells me it's great in tacos, quesadillas, and salads, and I'm not sure any of that is true

@Louisa

when people said the devil is the author of all lies, they specifically meant that deviled ham can.

@jackdaw_ruiz "splorch some gobs of this stuff right on top of your Caesar, I don't give a fuck!" —The Devil

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@Louisa

assembling all the ingredients to bake a chocolate cake on my counter. but it feels like something is missing.

from behind me the lid of the ham can opens and closes like a tiny mouth, saying "wouldst thou like to live deliciously?"

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