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commenting without faving is a flagrant act of aggression and each time it happens i imagine a council of lab coat'd nerds moving the Doomsday Clock's hand one minute closer to midnight.

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Me solving: Haha fuck yeah!!! Yes!!

Me coagulaing: Well this fucking sucks. What the fuck.

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a rat lives under Dave Navarro's fedora and pulls on his hair to make him do the guitar solos good.

@ItsMorgan carefully typing 'big erect penises' into google image search with one finger, and pausing midway thru to consider

I would ruin the ritual completely because I would just get inside the wicker man well before it was time to put me inside and so I would have had time to set up and fireproof the place before everyone got there. I would just live in there, that would be my cool clubhouse

so how bout that Stardew Valley sequel about running a chocolate shop with ghosts?

mastodon is a great platform, one of the best platforms... i believe we will do very great things on it. did you know that it's federated? not many people do! it's federated, just like the constitution. we love the constitution, don't we, folks? yes, we do

wait a minute the Bezos space rockets look like a penis to fuck up the search results if you try to locate those actual pictures of his actual penis.

it's so obvious now.

when you go to reply to me, a big puff of smoke triggers and all you find is a log of wood

let’s all switch over to pinterest, guys. surely there are no assholes there.

I'm being lightly cross-trained at work on some new machines, and today i learned that steel recycling scrap shredders function literally, not figuratively, but literally like cheese graters

this motherfucker just responded to an email of mine by opening with "your rendition of facts is inaccurate."

and if you know ANYTHING about me, it's that my rendition of facts is ALWAYS accurate. i didn't take the time to email you to be *wrong* about a single thing.

you just made an enemy for life, fucko!

i had a post on my old account saying it was all but certain that eventually Brad Parscale would spin up a Pleroma instance and i only really erred in not being more cynical.

alright, but imagine the intern explaining federation to trump

@cicatriz_jdr that's why some people post those cws.

Brad Neely really got it

i'm never far from thinking about the Babycakes line "eye contact is a spell."

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Originally a small latinx / chicanx community, now open to all BIPOC! Open to anyone from the culture cousins